Freedom has a Price Tag

My 1.5-year-old Siberian feline, Zeus, has just recently discovered the outdoors.  At any chance he gets, he attempts to dart out the door.  He loves it but it terrifies us, his beloved family members turned slaves (chuckle).  We know that he hasn't learned to be savvy in the "real" world.  He doesn't know that cars can run him over.  He doesn't understand that any less than honest passerby may want to snatch him up.  Anytime someone needs to leave the house another person has to hold him back.  Poor little kitty doesn't want to be contained within the walls of this house.  He is definitely thinking "you don't control me".
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Zeus' longing for discovery and freedom spurred an object lesson in me.  I have on occasion found myself wanting to control the people, things and situations around me for two main reasons.  One, so that I can preserve them from harm; a noble reason I think.  And two, so that I can feel secure with the outcome; a very selfish reason.  In other words, if it turns out the way I see best then it's alright.  My intentions are good, wanting them to be careful to make the right choices so they can have good lives.   The truth is though if they are "well" then I am "well".  Then I don't worry.  Then I don't feel like a loser parent.  Then I feel at peace.  In the end, control is as much about me and it is about others.
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Anyone who knows me also knows that avoiding problems and frustrations is one of my flaws (I'm a 9 on the enneagram).  Facing them, unpacking and resolving them sooner than later is way smarter and more efficient but I tend to make mountains out of mole hills.  Secretly, I see my problems bigger than they really are.  I don't do it on purpose.  It's a default setting for me.  And voilá, control is a way to avoid creating a problem and all the negativity that comes with it.  If I can control the outcome then I don't need to deal with the pain, the frustration, and the disappointment of a bad decision.  It's wrong, I know.  Just wrong.  Ironically it actually comes with a whole other set of issues.  I am changing that about me and I am being intentional about it until it finally becomes etched in me and becomes my new default.
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Ultimately, I want and we all want the people in our lives to be happy and do well.  That is not a bad thing.  However, we must realize that each person has the right to make their own choices.  We can guide them and we can set boundaries for our protection and theirs (if appropriate) but ultimately they get to choose.  It's our job to protect that right by letting each make their own decisions and then also allowing the consequences that come with those decisions, good or bad, to be dealt with by the decision-maker.  I've been learning this too.  Being free and allowing others to be free actually comes with a price.
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Controlling people also comes with a price.  It causes resentment and stifles the learning that comes with freedom.  Freedom is God's default.  It is demonstrated clearly in the Word over and over again.  He gives us the room to make our choices without His interference.  Then He allows us to experience and work through the consequences of each decision.  Regardless we always have a choice.  Freedom is a choice.  Sin is a choice. He knows us well.  And He loves us well, demonstrating freedom well.   This is true love!
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“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live,”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭30:19‬ ‭ESV‬‬.

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-❤️lina