PeaceMAKER

I've always been a compliant and "submissive" person.  I have never enjoyed rocking the boat.  I have always avoided confrontation like the plague.  The fear of being disliked or of causing hurt constantly loomed over my head.  Saying yes felt like the kind thing to do.  Saying no was mean and unwarranted.  Today I realize I wasn't growing nor was I allowing anyone else to grow.  I wasn't confronting the wrongs I saw around me or even inside of me.  Instead, I assumed other people knew more and were more experienced than me.  I told myself I had no business raising eyebrows because I wasn't intelligent enough or capable enough to fight.  I felt ill-suited in regards to just about everything.  I thought raising an issue would open up wounds and cause harm and destroy relationships.  Today I believe the OPPOSITE.  I could have helped favorably change things if I had confronted them in LOVE, instead of quietly standing behind a curtain of doubt and fear believing that that was being submissive and helpful.   I deprived myself and many people I love or could have learned to love the growth we all needed.  I chose to sweep it all under the rug of silence and ignorance in the name of peacekeeping instead of exposing it all to the light and allowing the proper deep cleaning of PEACEMAKING.  Matthew 5:9 talks about being a maker of peace.  "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God."  A peacemaker MAKES peace.  It's deliberate.  He/she makes a way: using conversation, the Word of God, prayer, intercession, actions, all in the name of LOVE.  A peacemaker does not stay silent or hide.  A peacemaker is fearless.  A peacemaker takes action and makes a difference for the good of all.  A peacemaker knows that although it may hurt at first it will cause good fruit to grow and multiply.  For me, it does not come naturally.  It's a struggle within, a walk outside of my comfort zone, grand-scale self-denial.  BUT it is priceless and worth pressing for.